Kids & Parents: Why Is Who I Hang Out With Such a Big Deal?
- Boundless Team
- Jun 9
- 5 min read
Walking through the hallways of a high school in Bartlett or anywhere in the 901, you feel it, the constant pressure to fit in, the noise of a thousand digital voices, and the quiet question of who you really are. It turns out, your "squad" isn't just about who you sit with at lunch; it's about who you are becoming.
Why Is Who I Hang Out With Such a Big Deal? Who you surround yourself with determines your direction. Your friends act as a "spiritual elevator", they either pull you up toward your purpose in Christ or drag you down. Because we naturally mimic those we spend time with, choosing wise companions is essential for guarding your heart and future.
The Power of the "Squad": Proverbs 13:20
There is an old saying that goes, "Show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future." This isn't just something your parents say to annoy you; it’s a biblical truth that has stood the test of time.
The Bible puts it bluntly in Proverbs 13:20: "Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm."
Think about it like this: If you hang out with four people who are constantly grinding to get better at sports or music, you’re likely to become the fifth. But if you hang out with four people who are addicted to drama, skipping class, or making poor choices in the Memphis night scene, you’re on the fast track to being the fifth.
Your friends "disciple" you every day. They influence how you talk, what you value, and how you see God. When you’re at FA Memphis, you see a community of people trying to walk with the wise. Why? Because we know we can't do it alone.
Friend Type | Impact on Your Life | Scriptural Lens |
The Wise Friend | Encourages your faith, tells you the truth even when it hurts. | Proverbs 27:17 (Iron sharpens iron) |
The Foolish Friend | Encourages compromise, mocks your values, focuses on the temporary. | 1 Corinthians 15:33 (Bad company ruins morals) |
The "Stagnant" Friend | Neither helps nor hurts, but keeps you comfortable in mediocrity. | Revelation 3:16 (Warning against lukewarmness) |
The Invisible Roommates: Media and Music
It’s not just the people you see in the halls of Bartlett High or Cordova that influence you. It’s the "invisible roommates" you let into your head through your AirPods and your screens.
Have you ever noticed how your mood changes after listening to a certain artist or scrolling through a specific feed for an hour? Media isn't neutral. It’s telling a story. Often, that story is built on what the world sells: status, sex, money, and self-obsession.
Why does "bad" media matter? Because your mind is a garden. If you plant seeds of anger, lust, or hopelessness through the music you stream or the shows you binge, you shouldn't be surprised when those things start growing in your heart. The media industry spends billions to manipulate your desires. They want you to believe that the "reality" they show, the perfect bodies, the endless parties, the "boss" lifestyle, is what matters. But it's a filtered lie.
Definition: Sanctification Sanctification is the lifelong process of being set apart for God’s purposes and becoming more like Jesus in our thoughts, words, and actions.
When we choose media that aligns with God’s truth, we are participating in our own sanctification. We are saying, "I refuse to be manipulated by a culture that doesn't love my soul."
Gaming, Sports, and the Digital Mirror
For many in the 901, gaming and sports are life. Whether you’re on the court in Memphis or in a Discord call with your team, these things are fun, but they also carry weight.
The Reality of Gaming: Gaming can be a great way to connect, but it can also become a place where "influence" goes sideways. Toxic lobbies, the pressure to spend money on "skins" to look cool, and the escapism that keeps you from real-life responsibilities are real traps. If your primary community is an anonymous group of people who use foul language and mock others, that will rub off on you.
The Reality of Sports: Sports sell the "highlight reel." We see the victory, but we don't always see the character behind it. If you’re chasing a college scholarship more than you’re chasing Christ, your "idol" of sports will eventually let you down.
The Manipulation Check: Are you playing the game, or is the game playing you? Developers use "dopamine loops" to keep you hooked. They want you addicted to the screen because your attention is their profit. Learning to see through the manipulation is the first step to freedom.
Screen Addiction: Breaking the Spell
Screen addiction is the "quiet thief" of your teenage years. It steals your sleep, your focus, and your ability to hear God’s voice. If the first thing you touch in the morning is your phone and the last thing you see at night is a screen, you might be in a digital cage.
Symptoms of Screen Addiction:
Feeling anxious or "naked" without your phone.
Losing track of hours while scrolling.
Choosing digital interaction over real-life conversation.
Using screens to hide from "bad" feelings or boredom.
Being a "light on a hillside" means having a life that looks different. While everyone else is a slave to their notifications, you can be someone who is present, focused, and free.
Getting Smart: Tools for Your Devices
You don't have to be a victim of your phone. There are tools built right into your device to help you take your life back. This isn't about "rules"; it's about discipleship.
Definition: Discipleship Discipleship is the intentional process of following Jesus, learning His ways, and helping others do the same.
Here are some practical tools you can use today:
For Apple Users (iPhone/iPad):
Screen Time Limits: Go to Settings > Screen Time. You can set "Downtime" (like 10 PM to 7 AM) where only the essentials like your Bible app and calling your parents work.
App Limits: Limit yourself to 30 minutes of TikTok or Instagram a day. When the time is up, the app locks. It’s a great way to build self-discipline.
Content Restrictions: You can block adult websites and explicit music right in the settings.
For Android Users:
Google Family Link: This allows you and your parents to work together to set healthy boundaries, track app usage, and manage "bedtimes" for your device.
Digital Wellbeing: Use "Focus Mode" to silence distracting apps during homework or your morning prayer time.
Using these tools doesn't mean you're "bad" or "weak." It means you're smart enough to know that your heart is worth protecting.
Being a Light in the 901
High school can feel like a very dark place. Comparison, bullying, and the pressure to compromise are everywhere. But remember what Jesus said: "You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden" (Matthew 5:14).
When you choose to have godly friends, when you filter what you listen to, and when you put down the phone to actually look someone in the eye, you stand out. You become a "city on a hill" for your classmates who are drowning in the digital noise.
Whether you're in the 901 area or joining us from across the globe through Boundless Online Church, your life has a massive purpose. Don't let your "squad" or your "screen" steal the person God created you to be.
Do your current friendships make it easier or harder for you to follow Jesus?
Want to go deeper?
If you're in Memphis, Cordova, Arlington, Bartlett, or the 901 area, we would love to welcome you in person. Our youth and family ministries are designed to help you find your "squad" and grow in your faith: 🌐 www.famemphis.org
If you're outside our area or unable to attend locally, join our global digital community at Boundless Online Church. We offer online discipleship and a place to belong, no matter where you are: 🌐 www.boundlessonlinechurch.org
Need prayers? Text us day or night at 1-901-213-7341. (Note: This line is for prayer and pastoral support, not emergency services. If you are in immediate danger or need urgent help, please call 911.)
Comments